The United Kingdom has taken back control of its language.
Time to learn proper English.
Blimey, I was rather chuffed when the bloke offered me some bangers for a couple of quid because I had been expecting to pay a fiver.
“These aren’t dodgy, are they?”, I asked him.
“Na”, he replied. “They fell off the back of a truck and I sell them cheap. So, Bob’s your uncle.”
“Fancy a pint?” I asked.
He was gobsmacked at my offer. “Well, I’m knackered,” he replied, “but I won’t say no to a swift half.”
We entered the pub. A man, somewhat plastered was sitting in the corner.
At the counter, the barman said, “Careful, don’t sit on that stool. It’s a bit wonky. “
“What can I get you gents? “ he asked.
“Couple of pints of lager” my new mate replied.
“Would you like some crisps to go with that?” the barman asked. “We’ve got some new ones in and they’re really wicked”.
|English||What it means.|
|Blimey||Wow, (surprise or anger)|
|Quid||One pound (money)|
|Fiver||Five pounds (five-pound note – money)|
|Fell off the back of a truck||Stolen goods|
|Bob’s your uncle||That’s it, there you are, Voila|
|Fancy||Would you like|
|A swift half||A quick pint of beer|
|Wonky||Not right, broken|
|Pint||A proper glass of beer (458ml for you EU lot)|