Brexit English

The United Kingdom has taken back control of its language.
Time to learn proper English.

Blimey, I was rather chuffed when the bloke offered me some bangers for a couple of quid because I had been expecting to pay a fiver.

“These aren’t dodgy, are they?”, I asked him.

“Na”, he replied. “They fell off the back of a truck and I sell them cheap. So, Bob’s your uncle.”

“Fancy a pint?” I asked.

He was gobsmacked at my offer.  “Well, I’m knackered,” he replied, “but I won’t say no to a swift half.”

We entered the pub. A man, somewhat plastered was sitting in the corner.

At the counter, the barman said, “Careful, don’t sit on that stool. It’s a bit wonky. “

“What can I get you gents? “  he asked.

“Couple of pints of lager” my new mate replied.

“Would you like some crisps to go with that?” the barman asked. “We’ve got some new ones in and they’re really wicked”.

EnglishWhat it means.
BlimeyWow, (surprise or anger)
ChuffedPleased, delighted
BangersSausages
QuidOne pound (money)
FiverFive pounds (five-pound note – money)
DodgySuspicious, unreliable
Fell off the back of a truckStolen goods
Bob’s your uncleThat’s it, there you are, Voila
FancyWould you like
GobsmackedSurprised
KnackeredTired
A swift halfA quick pint of beer
PlasteredDrunk
WonkyNot right, broken
MateFriend
PintA proper glass of beer (458ml for you EU lot)
WickedCool, fantastic